Tuesday, July 08, 2014

Heartbreak is a Backwards Marathon

The first thing I heard after I crossed the finish line was my 13-year-old, once misdiagnosed with low functioning autism son say... "I'm proud of you, mom."  He'd run a half mile to meet me there after holding up a sign that read, 'I'm cheering for mom' at the 24 mile mark - right when I needed it.

I grabbed that boy and I hugged him hard.

I know you're still reading because of your MERLD babies.
And you're scared.
Some of you have lost your spouses over the stress.  Lost faith in science, education, love, hope.  Most have sought counseling for yourselves.  I'm amazed I didn't.  I probably should have.

We've all been on the brink of losing ourselves completely to this unnecessarily stressful mystery.  We've all had the aching guts.

Don't give up.
They really need you not to give up.

There is a happy finish line where they will always know what you did.  It's hard to imagine that now while it's so fucking hard that you've been crying from places you didn't know had tears, but it's true.

The toddler who couldn't say, "I love you, mama," turns into a beautiful young man, happy to see you.  He says I love you without hesitation, and there's proof of it with every smile, hug, and proud look in his eyes that he gives you for being his hard fighting advocate.

He'll know what you did.

And you're teaching him how to take care of you right back.

The big hills are at the beginning.
Don't give up.
You get reimbursed for the pain with joy.

© Copyright 2014 Angeline Larimer

Friday, April 18, 2014

Where I Sleep

"Mom! Stop doing my homework!"

This is the sort of assignment I *loved* as a kid.  
No such thing is ever on standardized tests.
Totally not fair.

In case your reading eyes are struggling, the assignment was basically to copy Shel Silverstein.  What I did:

Spinach to be big and strong
(vitamins so I don't grow wrong)
Broccoli cause they look like trees
Don't you dare try buying peas!
Bananas picked by monkeys.  Yay!
Dino kale, puh, dirty hay.
Shrimp with panicked eyes, no thanks!
Sad lobsters waving from their tanks.
Pickles good for GI tracts,
(I think that means no bowel attacks.)
Milk from cows who get massaged.
Thanks, sweet lord, for blanc fromage!

And then Pick told me to stop doing her homework.  (I was on such a high, too!)

She'd already done the shorter poem option until she saw me happily writing, chewing on my eraser as I do,  and then she got inspired to try her own list.  She has a fantastic wit that girl, but her groceries were entirely composed of junk food, so I refuse to publish.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

He'll be 6'5" by Mornin'

He hasn't stopped eating since he got home.  He's already eaten 3/4ths of an organic pizza.  "I think I'll make some spaghetti, too."  *dumped in entire bag
Meanwhile, he'll munch the salad while he waits.
Taught him how to cook for himself just in time.  

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Repost Thursday: I Only Regret The Worry That Ta...

"Jack has attended an incredible public school since the 1st grade.  We owe them our sanity.  We owe them our son's happiness.  His speech delay could not be fixed with the snap of the fingers or a quick fix new drug.  He needed patience from educators who believed that he would get there.   These people have been incredible."

This revisit choked me up today.

Life in the Pumpkin Shell: Five Years Later: I Only Regret The Worry That Ta...: [Originally posted 1/18/2008] Because of my son's misdiagnosis, I was forced to make a choice. A dozen or more educators and healt...

 © Copyright 2014 Angeline Larimer

Throwbback Thursday: The Four Year Wiggle Rotation

"What makes us wonderful as a species is our ability to love. We should teach that most of all, and we should start teaching it from day one and never stop." 

Life in the Pumpkin Shell: The Four Year Wiggle Rotation

 © Copyright 2014 Angeline Larimer

Sunday, April 06, 2014

Why My Reviews Never Get Published

A little special something I do with my pal Muffins is I like to send her links to dresses that get recommended to me on Facebook while we're chatting.  Even if we're talking about death and dying, I'll send her one.
"Too fuchsia for a funeral?" and she'll always say I'll look hot in it, even if her opinion on the dress = "meh".

The more links I send per conversation, the greater the amount of worrisome things there are on my mind =  I'm desperate for comic relief.  I think she's the same way.

So there's a dress I like that looks like it has stars on it.  I asked Muffins to take me to the Fall Dance wearing it.  (Either her or me.  Doesn't matter.  It's called "Starlight Hearted Dress" which would make a great prom theme.)

Before Muffins came into my world, I used to amuse myself by reading Amazon reviews.

See:  "I Know What Yellow Looks Like"

This dress won't leave me alone, so I considered getting it, possibly, maybe, with no good reason to ever wear it unless we do manage to pull together that Over 40 prom I've been scheming about.

I checked the reviews.  This was a favorite:

"My boyfriend got me this dress for our one year anniversary (and my future prom dress) and it is so gorgeous! I was fawning over it since I "picked" it in Be The Buyer. My boyfriend got me an 8, and I'm always in between 8's and 6's. I could have gotten a 6 here.... but I'm still comfortable in an 8 :) The sequins are awesome and I think they look like stars/constellations :) I'll put up pictures later... It's really comfortable and not scratchy at all. I would say buy this dress! It's totally worth it for a special event :)

Here's what I'd end up writing if I were to get this dress:

"My husband thinks I'm going crazy and I'm sure he's probably right.  He came home from work the other night and found me scrubbing the toilets while wearing this dress.  'Where did you get that?' he asked, and I started crying.  'I don't know what's happening right now,' he went on, and I squeaked out something about how all my high school boyfriends sucked total fucking ass, to which he replied, 'I think you missed a spot of crusted urine underneath the seat,' and then I attacked him with the toilet brush.  He's in intensive care because of a nasty viral infection that put him into a coma (or he's just faking it).  I wish I'd never purchased this dress.  It has ruined my life.  BUT, I should mention that I purchased a size -2 and could totally have gone with the -4, because there's absolutely no way in hell you'll ever know whether or not that's true.  LOL. *sob*. Just kidding.  (No I'm not.)  Please wake up, Tom."

© Copyright 2014 Angeline Larimer
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